Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s my pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about “shoulding” or not, sharpening your skills, developing social skills, communicating, and some helpful advice about your life and career.

From Slow Leadership: Choices versus Obligations
“Do you go in for constant ’shoulding’? Do you weigh yourself down with rules and obligations based on what you ‘should’ do, not what you want to do? Consider all the weight you have to carry when you say: “I should do or be or feel this.” All that ‘shoulding’ is heavy with guilt, resentment and the frustration of feeling chained to something you neither like nor chose.”

Wally’s Comment: Too much of too many lives is ruled by the “shoulds” instead of the choices. Peter Vajda offers some thoughts on how to increase your choice percentage.

From HBS Working Knowledge: Sharpening Your Skills: Career & Life Balance
“Questions to be Answered: How do I get past a feeling of being stuck in life or work? Can I resist the temptations of success? Am I working too hard? Is there room for spirituality at the office?”

Wally’s Comment: Experts from the Harvard Business School share their ideas of work/life balance and how to achieve it.

From Results vs. Activities: It Pays to Develop Social Skills
“I’m always impressed with people who generally lack interpersonal skills–they are very talented in alienating others, creating bad emotional contagion that rubs off on everyone and drains our relationship batteries. We have some compelling new research that these people might actually have a very unrealistic picture of their competence.  In fact, they tend to have the “no clue” gene with exaggerated distortions about their interpersonal prowess.”

Wally’s Comment: There are hardly any classes on people skills, but they matter a lot to your career. To make things worse, you may be drastically underestimating your need for development.

From ABC News on Campus: The Best Way to Communicate in the Workplace
“Today’s wireless world offers an endless array communication choices, giving businesses and individuals a myriad of efficient options to keep in touch with the rest of the world. But in many cases, the proliferation of choices has also blurred the rules of professional protocol.

Wally’s Comment: Among the most important skills to develop are those communications skills. Lindsey Pollack suggests tactics for our wireless world.

From Execupundit: Advice to the Young
“Pretend that you are talking with a person who is new or relatively new to the workplace. What advice would you give? I would tell them”

Wally’s Comment: Michael Wade always seems to have sage advice. To make things even better he has a great way of phrasing it.

If you want someone to be your mentor, don’t just call them up and ask, “Will you be my mentor?” Here’s why.

Most people who will make a good mentor for you are successful. That also means that they’re busy.

Because they have lots of commitments already, they’re going to be leery of taking on any new ones. Especially if those commitments are open-ended. And especially if they don’t know the person who’s asking.

There’s another reason that simply asking someone to be your mentor is a bad idea. You don’t know if you’ve got chemistry. And chemistry is important.

Most great mentoring relationships, certainly all of mine as both mentor and protégé, started simply. Then they grew. Here’s how to improve the odds that will happen.

Start with a specific question. If you’re making contact by email keep your email short and sweet.

Tell the person you’re sending email to that you’re writing to ask a question. Tell them why. If you’re asking because they’re an expert, say so. If you’re asking because someone you both know suggested it, say so.

Then ask your question. Make it simple. Make it specific. Make it short.

If you’re calling, the process is the same except for one thing. If you get someone on the phone, be sure to ask if they have time to answer your question.

Most of the time you’ll get a good and helpful answer. Most successful people enjoy helping others.

If that happens, say thank you. And send a thank-you note. And ask if you can contact them in the future with another question. Most of the time, the answer will be “yes.”

Good mentoring relationships grow from simple contacts and courtesies. But not every contact will result in a mentoring relationship. That’s OK. Your odds are better this way than the frontal assault of asking, “Will you be my mentor?”

Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about not blowing your own horn too hard, your own “cabinet,” why being positive is good, ways to blow a phone interview, and how to be happy at work.

From the Wall Street Journal: Candidates Singing Own Praises Fall Flat
“When it comes to self-promotion, hiring managers say some go too far and block their path to the next level. Call them the corporate world’s American Idol wannabes.”

Wally’s Comment: The First Law of Horn Tooting is that no one is likely to toot your horn but you. But don’t toot it so hard that you upset others.

From On the Job: Obama Has His Cabinet in Place — Do You?
“You may think you don’t need a trusted group of advisers. After all, you’re not the president of the United States, and may believe that it’s a luxury reserved for world leaders. Not so. In fact, no one may need a Cabinet today more than the average worker.”

Wally’s Comment: Life is a team sport. Do you have people ready to help you?

From Jon Gordon’s Blog: 11 Benefits of Being Positive
“Over the years I’ve done a lot of research on the positive effects of being positive and the negative effects of being negative. The research is clear. It really does pay to be positive and the benefits include enhanced health and longevity, happiness, career advancement, athletic performance, team building and financial success. Being positive is not just a nice way to live. It’s the way to live. In this spirit here are 11 benefits of being positive.”

Wally’s Comment: In case you’ve wondered, Jon Gordon shares eleven reasons that being positive is a good thing.

From Microsoft’s JobsBlog: Five ways to fail my phone interview
“Understanding that every recruiter conducts initial candidate screens differently, I wanted to share some of the themes that come up with candidates I don’t end up moving forward with. JobsBlog has lots of great tips for ways to improve your phone screen, but here are some things to avoid.”

Wally’s Comment: A phone interview may be your first contact with a prospective employer. Don’t make it the last one.

From Work Happy Now: How to Be Happy at Work – Right Now!
“Not all of us can love our jobs. I don’t love mine, but I do like it. It’s all about figuring out the best way to cultivate your happiness at your job – maximizing instead of hating.”

Wally’s Comment: Feeling awful is a bad way to live and to work. Here’s some advice on how to be happy at work.

The moment was so dramatic that it’s tempting to just play it over and over. That’s pretty much what the media have been doing with “”Sully Sullenberger and his miracle landing of flight 1549.

If all you see is the miracle, you miss another story. It’s the story of how a boy from Denison, Texas became the man his wife calls “a pilot’s pilot.”

Denison was home to Perrin Air Force Base. The roar of the jets must have stirred something in Sullenberger. He got his pilot’s license when he was still in junior high and set his sights on the Air Force Academy.

After graduating from the Academy in 1973, Sullenberger flew fighters for the Air Force. . In 1980, he left the Air Force and began a civilian career as an airline pilot.

So far, the story is like a lot of military pilots who sign on with the airlines. But even early on there were some clues that Sullenberger was different.

He started as early as possible. He didn’t just fly for fun. He flew crop dusters. His log book was already fat by the time he got to the Air Force Academy.

He was always disciplined and learning. He learned about airplanes. He developed his skill flying gliders. He became interested in accident prevention.

He dug into the psychology of cockpit, helping develop his airline’s course on what’s called Crew Resource Management. That’s the training pilots and other crew members get to enhance safety and handle emergencies.

Along the way, Sullenberger has investigated accidents for the National Transportation Safety Board, authored an FAA Advisory Circular on the situations that induce pilot error, and served as Air Line Pilots Association safety chairman. He’s earned a couple of master’s degrees. And, just last week, he saved a planeful of people with some expert flying.

The heroism is great front page news. But Captain Sullenberger’s life offers lessons for you and me about how great careers develop.

He started with a passion for flying. But along the way he developed a passion for other things in addition to flying planes.

He worked at learning new skills and broadening his horizons. He made contributions to his profession and airline safety. The fact is that his work on flight safety and training may have saved more lives quietly than his piloting skills saved spectacularly.

The lessons for you and me are simple. Start with something you love. Keep working to get better. Add to your knowledge. Develop your skills. That won’t make you a hero. But it stands a good chance of making you a success.

Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about HR secrets, productivity, figuring out what to do with your life, staying hired, and relationships.

From the Evil HR Lady: Super Secret HR Stuff
“I’ve gotten a few questions lately that ask about “secret” HR stuff. So, I’ve decided to spill the secret HR beans and blab about all our secret handshakes and stuff. Except if there are any, no one has given them to me. I suppose this is because I don’t belong to SHRM. Why? My employer won’t pay for it and I’m too cheap to join myself. So, there’s a secret for you!”

Wally’s Comment: The Evil HR Lady shares HR secrets that will make your toes curl. Or maybe not. But they will provide you with some good reading. 

From Slow Leadership: Is Productivity Personal?
“It seems to me that productivity is essentially subjective; only part of it is about getting things done more easily or doing more in less time. The main element lies in gaining a sense of accomplishment: the feeling that you have done what needed to be done, done it well and done it as effectively as you could, given the time and resources available. Unfortunately most personal productivity tools use quantitative approaches based on measuring time or resources or both, taking no account of the qualitative and emotional elements.”

Wally’s Comment: Carmine Coyote always has thoughtful posts. This one is about the emotional side of productivity.

From Penelope Trunk: How to figure out what you should be doing with your life
“There is no other way to figure out where you belong than to make time to do it and give yourself space to fail, give yourself time to be lost. If you think you have to get it right the first time, you won’t have the space really to investigate, and you’ll convince yourself that something is right when it’s not. And then you’ll have a quarterlife crisis when you realize that you lied to yourself so you could feel stable instead of investigating. Here’s how to avoid that outcome.”

Wally’s Comment: Penelope Trunk is indeed a Brazen Careerist. She also makes sense. In this post she advocates doing your basic career planning right the first time. There are no guarantees that will result in success, but it sure will increase your odds.

From What Would Dad Say: Don’t Fire Yourself
“Companies are laying people off for any number of economic reasons. Laying off, firing, reduction in work force they sound different but the result is: you don’t have a job. Here are some easy ways to avoid firing yourself.”

Wally’s Comment: Sometimes not getting fired is a matter of avoiding the stupid and the self-destructive.

From Personal Branding: Your Personal Brand Has a Half-life
“Relationships are only as strong as the value placed on the relationship by the least interested party. In other words – reciprocity defines the value of a relationship.”

Wally’s Comment: Relationships are the stuff you build your life on. Keeping them vibrant and healthy is important. And it’s simple. It’s just not easy.

Several books and articles have recently appeared offering advice on how to achieve excellence. Others suggest that they will help you succeed in life.

My goal is more limited. I just want to give you a way to improve performance in an area that matters to you.

I do not offer something that takes no effort and magically produces success. No such magic exists. And I do not offer you a rigorous improvement program that will absorb the majority of your energy and attention.

What I do offer is something that’s worked for me, for many of my friends, and for many of my coaching clients. It’s a simple process that goes like this.

Decide what you want to improve. Make it something specific like communications skills.

Work on one thing at a time. Don’t dilute your effort or divide your attention.

Decide how you’re going to measure performance. Some things can be counted. Others can be easily observed. Some require subjective evaluation.

Now pick a specific behavior that you want to improve. If you want to improve your overall communication skills you might decide to work on the specific skill of giving directions, or listening, or checking to see if you’re understood.

Have a way to record your performance. I like a small notebook that you can carry with you.

Before each event, think about what you want to do. That will help you concentrate.

After each event, evaluate how you did. Make notes.

Give yourself feedback or get feedback from others. Then decide how you’ll do things differently next time. Review your notes from time to time.

Keep planning, acting, recording, and critiquing until it’s time to work on something else. Then repeat the process.

There’s no magic here. This takes attention and effort. But it can pay off with significant improvement in areas that matter to you.

Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about questioning beliefs that hold you back, the job of finding a job, dealing with someone else’s job loss, improving your communications skills, and improving your productivity.

From Brain Leaders and Learners: Question Myths and Reboot Brainpower
“Whenever you question mental myths, using realities from current neuro facts, you begin to reboot brainpower for new adventures. It takes specific action though to rewire dendrite brain cells for rejuvenation.  How many myths hold you back?   Why not launch a few dynamic new trajectories today, by trying out Smart skills below, that will move beyond the 25 myths into realities that win.”

Wally’s Comment: You’ll want to print this post out and keep it where you can refer to it often.

From the Chicago Tribune: The job of finding a job
“Experts say there are strategies and techniques to conquering joblessness. Even during a severe economic downturn, organizations have positions to fill, and after the shock of the pink slip has worn off, it will be your assignment to get noticed and get hired. We may not be standing in bread lines, but more and more people are lying awake at night worried about their jobs, their money and their future. This week, the Chicago Tribune is dedicated to helping you navigate these tough times. Each day, our reporters and in-house experts will give you tools to survive different aspects of this financial crisis.”

Wally’s Comment: Just like for career success, there are techniques for improving your job hunting.

From the Houston Chronicle: Handling others’ job loss
“It may be awkward, but just like offering condolences when there is a death in the family, it’s important to acknowledge the bad news when your friend, neighbor or co-worker loses a job. With the economy getting worse and unemployment rising, that’s a conversation more folks are having when they run into friends at a party, grocery store or a business function. But not every well-intended remark is appreciated”

Wally’s Comment: This is a tough one. We’ll all have people we care about who lose a job or who lose business in this downturn. Here’s how to handle it from your side.

From Marty Nemko: Communications Skills: Crucial and More Difficult than You Think
“Most people think they are better communicators then they in fact are. But use these techniques and your communication skills will be vastly superior to most people’s. That, of course, will help you immeasurably in your personal and professional relationships. ”

Wally’s Comment: Marty has a knack for taking important stuff and boiling it down to the basics.

From Success: 1-on-1: Productivity
“Tips for multitasking, productivity and organization”

Wally’s Comment: Here is a lot of solid personal productivity advice in a small space.

Careers are woven from several different strands. Here are six important ones.

Aptitude is important. You’re likely to succeed at things you’re good at.

A lot of research and two recent best sellers point out that talent, or aptitude, is overrated when it comes to career success. True enough. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t count.

Interest is a factor. You’ll naturally gravitate to things that interest you. You’ll put more energy into them.

Barbara always loved the theater. Acting wasn’t her thing. Neither was directing. But she found her spot as the business manager for a succession of theaters.

Culture counts. There are two kinds of culture that matter.

The culture you were raised in set your values and the way you naturally make decisions. You need to work at understanding how that affects your career, as well as broadening your range.

Organizational culture matters, too. My friend Bill was out of place managing the business affairs of a graduate school, where slow, considered decision making was valued. But he was in his element when he moved to a start-up where quick decisions were necessary.

Luck matters more than we like to admit. Being in the right place when opportunity knocks can make your career. As a friend of mine says: “If you have the choice between good luck and good planning, take good luck every time.”

Hard work is the most important factor you can control. No great success ever came without it.

Feedback is crucial. I call it the “Breakfast of Champions.” Experience only counts for you if you learn from it and you learn from feedback.

As you ponder your career, think about these six things. Then use the ones you can control to make the most of the ones you can’t.

Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about the “out-of-office reply,” extreme job hunting, the most important thing you can do, preparing for the job interview, and five things to avoid.

From Fistful of Talent: Does the “Out of Office” Reply Hurt Your Career?
“I know a lot of people believe work life balance means you have to totally disconnect when on vacation. But people don’t stop looking for answers. Is there more balance in dealing with 500 unread emails and a bunch of dropped balls when you get back to work? For me, the balance is in keeping things rolling so I’m not cringing about what I return to the last 3 days of my vacation”

Wally’s Comment: How do prospective employers and your customers react to an “out-of-office” message? Kris Dunn has some thoughts.

From Forbes: Extreme Job Hunting
“As the economy hits rock bottom, some job hunters go guerrilla.”

Wally’s Comment: Don’t try to smash the rock. Be like water and flow around it.

From US News & World Report: The Most Important Thing You Can Do for Your Career in the New Year
“You’re probably seeing a lot of articles this week with headlines like “Ten Best Career Resolutions for 2009.” “Update your résumé,” they’ll advise. “Acquire a new skill.” “Do more networking.” “Work smarter, not harder.” Good ideas. But here’s a better one: Have a Plan B.”

Wally’s Comment: Karen Burns is spot on as usual. You need plan B. You really do.

From Employment Digest: The Job Interview – Tips For Winning Your Interviewer Over
“Okay, so you got your fabulous resume out there, received a call and “poof” you have an interview. Going to an interview can be a nerve wracking task for many people even highly seasoned professionals. The best way to combat any nerves is to be well-prepared.”

Wally’s Comment: This excellent post keys on preparation, why it’s important, how to do it and what you can expect from it.

From US News & World Report: 5 Small Things That Annoy Interviewers
“Here’s a list of things that will secretly annoy your interviewer–none of these are necessarily deal-breakers, but they’re all things that your interviewer won’t appreciate.”

Wally’s Comment: Alison Green tells you want to do after all that preparation. Here are things that can mess up a perfectly good interview.