Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about taking care of yourself, deciding when a project is perfect enough, working for free, the most important thing for job seekers, and negotiating for women (and the rest of us).

From LeaderTalk: Leading Self with Character: Health and Well Being
“Leaders need to stay fit both physically and mentally in order to perform at their best each day. An important component of leading self with character is paying attention to and taking care of one’s health and well being.”

Wally’s Comment: Becky Robinson shares some sensible health and well-being tips. This stuff isn’t just for “leaders,” it’s for anyone who works hard.

From Strategic Intuition: Three-Percenting
“Generally when you work on something that matters, you find yourself making a little extra effort to get everything just right. I may only be addressing the perfectionists in the crowd, but there are enough of us out there that it’s worth saying. Now, I don’t know if there’s an 80/20 rule for this, but there seems to be an 80/20 rule for everything else. So let’s suppose it takes 80% of your effort to get the last 20% “just so.” And it’s worth it, that striving for perfection. It’s what puts you above the competition, makes you stand out. It’s what keeps you from being singled out for having errors in your copy, for example. Shoot for perfect, right? But.”

Wally’s Comment: I once knew a young woman who took an incomplete in every single course in her master’s program because her papers were never perfect enough for her. Lucy, wherever you are, this post is for you. And it’s for you if you’ve ever obsessed over perfecting one thing while other important things went undone.

From the Wall Street Journal: It Costs to Work for Free
“How do you know if an unpaid experience-builder is right for you? According to Chris Anderson, author of “Free: The Future of a Radical Price,” there’s really no such thing as working for free. ”

Wally’s Comment: There’s a lot of talk right now about working for free as a way to get experience and get your foot (or some other body part) in the door of opportunity. Chris Anderson notes that there’s no such thing as truly “free.” Alexandra Levit reports on Anderson’s thoughts and others about how to sort out whether working for free is a good choice for you.

From Virtual Job Coach: The single most important best piece of advice for job seekers
“Always set a next action. I’m serious, of all the advice and guidance out there for job seekers I still think this is the “one thing” that makes all the difference in a job search, any job search.”

Wally’s Comment: Here’s another piece of advice that isn’t just for job seekers. Always setting a next action is a good habit. If you’re familiar with “Getting Things Done,” you’ll recognize David Allen’s influence. To use his language, you want a “physical, visible action” that will move you forward.

From Future Perfect: Cave in… or leave the cave?
“I’ve had lots of comments on my series of posts on women:  salary negotiation and the gender divide ( Let’s go girls… Negotiate!   and Don’t be Afraid of “No” ). Thank you!   One topic still to be covered is the issue of us ladies stepping up to the negotiating table in our current organisations, as much as six times less than our male counterparts. This can mean a loss to net life income of up to half a million dollars.  So, let’s look at what can be done about that.  Just to be clear, this is only about women taking control of their own situations and dealing with passivity,  rather than covering flagrant cases of outright discrimination ( bullying?) where there are separate procedures both internal and legal to take care of those sort of issues. ”

Wally’s Comment: A little over a month ago, Dorothy Dalton initiated a conversation on this blog about the differential between men’s and women’s salaries and whether a difference in willingness to negotiate and negotiation style and skill might explain some of the difference. This is the third post in that discussion. The principles of salary negotiation here will help you, regardless of gender. There’s also extra value in reading Dorothy’s prior posts and the discussion comments if you want to understand some of the issues in the salary differential bundle. Links to prior posts are embedded in the post.

When it comes to thankfulness, I am my mother’s child. She taught me to begin every prayer with thanks. I follow her example to write at least three thank you notes every day.

Now scientists are telling us that mom may have been on to something. Dr. Robert Emmons, from UC Davis, and his colleague Michael McCullough have researched the effects of gratitude. They’ve learned some things that you should know.

Being thankful yields benefits. Dr. Emmons found that people who took action to be thankful slept better and longer. They had more energy. And thankful people are more likely to be successful.

The key experiment supporting that last finding involved keeping a gratitude journal. One group of subjects kept such a journal for two months. The control group did nothing special.

Both groups set goals. Emmons found that people in the thankful group were “significantly more likely to achieve personal goals” than people in the the control group.

You don’t have to believe this. You can run your own experiment. Thanksgiving seems like a good time to start.

There are “thankfulness gurus” out there who have elaborate daily rituals you can practice. I suggest simple actions tied to things you do already.

If you meditate, make being thankful part of your meditation. If you keep a journal, make special note of things you’re thankful for. If you’ve got a special time when you plan or review your day, add being thankful to the routine.

The researchers tell us that you’ll get even more benefit if you “express thankfulness.” I translate that as “say thank you.”

Say thank-you in a way that fits your style and habit. You can call people or visit them. You can follow my mother’s habit and write thank-you notes.

Once I asked her what she did if there was no one to thank. She gave me her “mom-look” and said, “Wally, there’s ALWAYS someone to thank.” She was right about that, like so many things. One of things I’m thankful for is the lessons she taught me.

Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about finding your way in a tough job market, networking, learning to lead, when to avoid setting goals, and mixing personal and professional.

From Anita Bruzzese: 8 tips to help you find your way in this tough job market
“You may not think you have a superpower, but if the only way you’re looking for a job is by applying to companies or job boards on the Web, you’ve just become invisible.”

Wally’s Comment: Yep, unemployment’s still going up and that means more competition for fewer jobs. Here are some tips on how to make the best of it all.

From CareerBuilder: How to Network without Being Phony, Lame or Desperate
“Let’s face it: Even when you’re on top of the world, chances are good that the idea of networking sounds like a big, fat drag. You can probably think of 100 other things you’d rather do — like cleaning the blades of your ceiling fan. But if you’re one of the 14.9 million people who are competing for what seems to be a handful of jobs, your confidence has probably taken a hit. So now is probably not the time to be meeting anyone new. In fact, now is not the time to get out of your pajamas.”

Wally’s Comment: Standard go-to-a-mixer-and-hand-out-as-many-cards-as-possible networking doesn’t work for most people. Even worse, most of us hate it. Here are some ideas about how to get the benefits of networking without the silliness.

From Management Excellence: Don’t Wait for the Title to Start Leading
“The time to start leading is now, long before anyone has bestowed the title of leader on you. Much like the famous trio of Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Woodman of Oz-fame, they didn’t really need the Wizard to bestow a brain, courage or a heart, and you don’t need someone to anoint you as a leader before you can start learning and practicing.”

Wally’s Comment: If you think you might want to follow a managerial career path or avoid the “Boss Trap,” you need to start experimenting to figure out if leadership is for you. Art Petty suggests some ways to do that.

From the Change Blog: Want to Change? Stop Setting Goals
“One of the most widespread ideas in the world of personal development is SMART goal-setting – it seems to have seeped into every self-help, business development and corporate training program out there. Just in case you’ve somehow managed to avoid attending these workshops – or more likely slept through them – SMART is an acronym for a set of criteria that people are encouraged to use to get really clear on the outcome they’re aiming for when they’re setting goals, because this increase your success in achieving your goals.”

Wally’s Comment: This piece challenges the usually unchallenged assumption that the only road to any kind of change requires a stop at goal setting. Cath Duncan references one version of the SMART acronym in her post. DePaul University professor Robert S. Rubin “examined the first 40 Web sites that contained information about SMART goals, which included a full range of sites from fitness information, to state agency planning manuals, business articles, and university counseling centers.” There were enough different meanings for each of the letters to form almost 9000 different versions of the SMART acronym.

From the Talent Revolution: Your Private Life and Your Professional Life are the Same Online
“You’ve heard it before: Much like a work-related function versus a happy hour with friends, there are different rules of protocol with a LinkedIn interaction (professional) versus a Facebook interaction (personal). In fact, according to this recent poll, 43% of people believe personal and professional social networks should be kept separate. Good luck with that!”

Wally’s Comment: It was way back in 1999 when Scott McNealy made his famous statement: “You have no privacy. Get over it.” He was talking about the line between public and private in the Information Age. Since then, even more lines have blurred. Jon Gillespie suggests that you lead a life with lots of parts and it’s only natural that the online version of that life will blend them. So what do you do about that? Here are Jon’s suggestions.

The Wall Street Journal just published an excellent article by Diana Middleton titled: “Avoid these Interview Killers.” Here’ the opening paragraph.

“With so much competition for every job listing out there—there are more than 6.1 job seekers for every job opening, according to the latest job-opening and turnover data from the U.S. Department of Labor—wowing a recruiter during a job interview is even more crucial. According to a new survey of nearly 500 human-resources professionals released by the Society for Human Resource Management, there are plenty of ways to derail a job interview—and some of them may surprise you.”

My first take was that this really isn’t necessary for college graduates in today’s job market, especially given all the advice they get from the school, the web, and a ton of publications. Then I remembered a conversation I had with a young friend about three weeks ago.

At 30, she’s a vice president in a large corporation. She serves on the recruiting advisory committee for the school where she got her MBA. The day we had dinner, she had just returned from a committee meeting at the school.

Part of the meeting included a reception where committee members mingled with MBA students who would be graduating soon. Very few seemed to care about making a good impression.

“I was surprised,” she said, “If I was meeting someone who could help me get a job, I’d dress up a little and try to impress them.” Instead, some of the young men showed up without shaving. She was sure some hadn’t taken a shower “in recent memory.” There were women students wearing tattered jeans and flip flops.

Her response was to send an email to the career counseling office sharing her impressions and offering suggestions. She also brought back a list of the men and women who made a positive impression. That list went to HR with her notes on what impressed her.

If you’re looking for a job, it’s not the time to be casual about your dress and your manners. Besides checking for typos on your resume, spend a little time learning how to make a good first impression. As the saying goes, you only get one chance.

The Journal article will help. And check out a great post by Anita Bruzzese from May, 2009 titled: “What They’re Really Looking at During Your Job Interview.”

Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about what to do when you’re “overqualified,” working at home with your spouse, personal branding in 2010, knowing when it’s time to change, and the only way to become really good.

From Karen Burns (Working Girl): 9 Ways to Overcome Being Overqualified
“Employers are actually suspicious of applicants with too many qualifications. They fear you’re just slumming until something better comes along, or you’re going to want too much money, or you’re really after the boss’s position, or you’ll make other employees feel small, or you’ll resent being supervised by a younger or less-experienced manager, or, finally, that you are incompetent (because if you were any good, they reason, you’d be gunning for a better job). What’s even worse is that employers often won’t say the reason they’re not hiring you is because they think you’re overqualified. They just never call you back.”

Wally’s Comment: I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post on this before. Boy is it needed. Boy is this a good post.

From Anita Bruzzese: 5 tips for working at home with your significant other
“The tough times have brought about a lot of changes, both personally and professionally. One of those changes has been a lot of people launching their own businesses from home. But what happens when you and your significant other both start working from home? Will it work? Will it cause a rift so wide you’ll never recover?”

Wally’s Comment: Lots of people are living this dream. You’re both working from/at home. You like it quiet. He likes loud rock music. You think 72 degrees F is a great office temperature. She likes it ten degrees colder. And, by the way, who’s going to clean up the kitchen? Oh, it’s big fun. Well, Anita Bruzzese will give you some survival tips.

From the Personal Branding Blog: 10 Personal Branding Predictions for 2010
“Each year, I give my personal branding predictions in the December time frame, but this year, people are starting to ask me about the future earlier.  In 2008, the focus was on behavior changes and in 2009, I concentrated on the economy and the struggle to protect your brand at all costs.  This year, I’ve been analyzing a lot of trends that will have a major impact on our careers and how companies will manage, retain and recruit employees moving forward.  A lot of my predictions involve technology because people have already started changing their behavior, but technology is going to open up even more opportunities.”

Wally’s Comment: Yes, boys and girls, it’s that time of year. It’s time for predictions about next year. In this post the Grand Poobah (that’s smartmouth talk for “recognized expert”) on personal branding, Dan Schawbel tells you how he thinks personal branding will go in 2010.

From All Things Workplace: Five Signals You Should Make a Change
“Life isn’t a part of business; business is a part of life. So, everything of consequence leads to confronting and resolving some kind of issue that leads to a choice about personal change. All of the choices aren’t always huge, but they are necessary in order to develop more healthy and effective patterns of work and leadership. I started thinking about the kinds of signs that flash to indicate the person across the table really does need to make a change. Maybe one or more apply to you as well. Here are five that stand out for me.”

Wally’s Comment: There are articles and posts about how change is hard. There are some that tell you to get on with it. But there aren’t many that tell how to spot the moment you need to move on. Steve Roesler offers typically well-grounded advice on just that.

From Zen Habits: The Only Way to Become Amazingly Great at Something
“Very often you’ll see blog posts or books teaching you to “master” a skill in only 10 days, or 3 days … in fact, it used to be 30 days but the time frame to master something seems to be shrinking rapidly.”

Wally’s Comment: Leo Babauta nails this one. Don’t worry about the debates about “deliberate practice” and “ten thousand hours” and “nature versus nurture” and “talent.” Just remember this. If you want to get really, really, really good at something, you’re going to have to work really, really, really hard. Only Leo says it better.

Imagine a starry-eyed young couple gazing at their new baby. The mother turns to the father and says, “Oh John, I hope he grows up to be average.”

Hard to believe, isn’t it? We don’t start out with the idea that we’ll live a fiftieth percentile life. And yet, it happens.

You know the fiftieth percentile people. They don’t seem to have any special skills or interests. Every day and every week and every month are pretty much like the last. The seasons change, but they don’t.

That can be you. Or you can live above the fiftieth percentile.  All you have to do is keep learning.

You can pick a single area. My wife loves to cook. My friend Vince loves woodworking. Dan loves to go skydiving. They do a lot of it. They read about it. They talk about it.

Or you can emulate a person I know well. His passion is learning. The subject doesn’t seem important. So every ninety days he moves to something different. So far he’s studied the music of Beethoven, Wellesley’s Army, the art of the German Expressionists and much more.

The trick is to make a conscious effort to improve. My wife makes notes in her cookbooks about what works well and what she might want to try. Vince chooses his next project to learn a specific skill, like making ornamental inlays in his cabinets. Dan writes books about his passion. The guy with the passion for learning selects a new subject every three months.

You can connect your passion to your career, of course. A famous sales trainer I know studies the classic sales books that he collects. He may have the world’s largest sales library.

Life above the fiftieth percentile is about injecting passion into your days. It’s about loving something that you do well. It’s about creating occasions for that elusive “flow” experience. It’s about being better at something than just about everyone else on the planet.

Every week I check dozens of “career” blogs and other online publications, looking for things that will help you find a job, get promoted, develop your skills, and keep everything in perspective and balance. Here’s the pick of the lot for this week. I’m pointing you to items about becoming a star, moonlighting and creativity, helping others tell your story, success for introverts, and acing that interview. I’ve also included a pointer to a new blog on Student Branding.

From the HR Capitalist: Being a Star – Either Put In More Hours Than Others, or Start Eliminating Stuff (But Stop Whining)…
“Being a star – everybody wants to be one, but few want to (or perhaps can) do what it takes to be one.  I’m reminded of the fact that most stars become stars because they simply outwork all the people who won’t do what it takes to become world class.”

Wally’s Comment: Despite what you may have heard or read, great success doesn’t happen overnight and it doesn’t happen without hard work. That’s not news, but it is worth hearing.

From the Wall Street Journal: Unleashing Your Creativity While You’re Moonlighting
“It’s no secret that job security is a thing of the past. Taking on part-time work—especially in a creative arena you’ve always wanted to pursue—is one way to earn extra income and begin exploring new work opportunities before it becomes a necessity, says Scott Belsky, CEO and founder of Behance, a New York-based company that develops products and online tools for creative industries. But fitting this extra work into your schedule takes planning. How to get started.”

Wally’s Comment: This post is an interesting twist on the moonlighting issue. If you’re stifled at work or just needing a bit of extra income or even looking for a new career, here are some ideas about how you can do it.

From Andy Robinson: Does Your Network Have Clarity on What You Do for a Living?
“How well are you “branded” amongst your network of connections – friends, family members, individuals with whom you share outside interests, vendors, clients, colleagues, former colleagues?”

Wally’s Comment: We tend to think that the people who know us well also know what our brand is. That’s not necessarily true and it can lead to missed opportunities.

From the NY Times: Success Isn’t Only for the Extroverts
“THE year was 1989, and I had just joined one of the world’s financial powerhouses as a marketing manager. My progression of jobs entailed planning, writing, editing and producing marketing materials. I enjoyed the thinking parts of the jobs the most. My days, however, were filled with meetings. ”

Wally’s Comment: I’ve seen several articles lately about how you can be an introvert and “still” succeed. This is the best one.

From the Student Branding Blog: Company Research: The Key to Acing an Interview
“When it’s interview time, I’m just as much of a mess- at least internally- as the next person. With practice, I’ve learned a few techniques that help me relax. Remembering to breathe is a good start. Slowing down, really listening to my responses and reflecting before I speak also helps. But, the best technique I’ve found is arming myself with information prior to the big interview day.”

Wally’s Comment: The Student Branding Blog is new from Dan Schawbel. That alone should make it worth a look. Articles like this one will keep you going back.

Debbie was little then. But she already had the radiant smile that would inspire her high school classmates to name her: “Girl most likely to get her picture on a Wheaties box.”

It was after church, and Debbie was charming anyone who came in range. I was acting the role of proud parent. One well-dressed older woman bent down to ask: “What does your daddy do?”

Debbie frowned as she pondered the question. Then she brightened and piped up in her little-girl voice.

“He goes away.”

It was like a kick in the stomach. I knew I was busy and working hard. There were speeches to give and clients to help and books to write and flights to catch.

After I got done feeling ambushed, I figured out what was going on. I saw every trip or meeting as an exception. I knew I loved my kids and I thought I was making time for them. But I wasn’t.

The exceptions had become the rule. And my family had become enablers.

They loved me. So when I said that I needed to skip a game or recital or play, they forgave me.

But I couldn’t let them do that forever. If I did, I would wind up as “the dad who goes away” or “the dad that doesn’t come.” Eventually I would be “the dad that doesn’t care.”

I didn’t want to be that dad. I started making my kids’ events on my calendar as sacred as other events. That meant re-scheduling client meetings. It meant turning down some work. But it was worth it.

The fact is that I don’t remember those meetings I re-scheduled. But I remember Dave playing ball and Debbie playing the clarinet and Diana dancing.

But you also should know that I’d get it right for a while and then I’d backslide. I had to keep catching myself and willing myself to do the right thing. Looking back, I could have done much better.

When you’re in the midst of making a career, it’s easy to make exceptions until they become the rule. It’s easy to let your family forgive you and forgive you until they stop caring. Don’t do it.