If you want someone to be your mentor, don’t just call them up and ask, “Will you be my mentor?” Here’s why.

Most people who will make a good mentor for you are successful. That also means that they’re busy.

Because they have lots of commitments already, they’re going to be leery of taking on any new ones. Especially if those commitments are open-ended. And especially if they don’t know the person who’s asking.

There’s another reason that simply asking someone to be your mentor is a bad idea. You don’t know if you’ve got chemistry. And chemistry is important.

Most great mentoring relationships, certainly all of mine as both mentor and protégé, started simply. Then they grew. Here’s how to improve the odds that will happen.

Start with a specific question. If you’re making contact by email keep your email short and sweet.

Tell the person you’re sending email to that you’re writing to ask a question. Tell them why. If you’re asking because they’re an expert, say so. If you’re asking because someone you both know suggested it, say so.

Then ask your question. Make it simple. Make it specific. Make it short.

If you’re calling, the process is the same except for one thing. If you get someone on the phone, be sure to ask if they have time to answer your question.

Most of the time you’ll get a good and helpful answer. Most successful people enjoy helping others.

If that happens, say thank you. And send a thank-you note. And ask if you can contact them in the future with another question. Most of the time, the answer will be “yes.”

Good mentoring relationships grow from simple contacts and courtesies. But not every contact will result in a mentoring relationship. That’s OK. Your odds are better this way than the frontal assault of asking, “Will you be my mentor?”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 at 8:42 am and is filed under Tools and Strategies for Success. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.